Saving this comment and links because this makes me think of my own dad so much right now. The wedding is just the first step, OP. His worth js as a humannot reliant on their approval or testing. Once, when I was hospitalized, I was suddenly unable to breathe due to fluid in my lungs- thanks pneumonia- and it was one of the most terrifying things I've ever experienced. It's only tattling if Tim does it. And I'd take it all the way to the wedding unless there's a huge apology to your man and they back off for real. Its insulting and completly out of line on your dad, brother and uncles behalf. Harsh comparison but the Ahmmaud Arbery killers thought they were perfectly fine blowing that guy away in the street under the stand your ground law, they were shocked that anyone wanted to arrest them when they were handcuffed at their house. This is seriously so fucked up. Are there other men in their circle? She wont. (jfc the warped mentality has me spinning). I think it would be good for both of you. Someone should teach these men a lesson. Screw the wedding, you should never speak to these people again. maybe they'll change their tune about "pranks" after that. This is a hill to die on. This should have been stopped way before it got that far. NTA - they sound truly horrible and yeah if I was your fianc I would want them at my wedding either. in addition to all of this also remember that there is a reason why married men live longer and the "nagging" wife who insists that they go see a doctor is a huge part of why. Maybe don't also make fun of his name and add to the problem? She should've shut that crap down long ago, and you can't fault Tim for wondering how their married life would turn out with that family in the background. Everyone should be laughing and no one's life should be in danger over one. Your family straight trash sorry. Throwawayfamily976 29040 S x 9 G 2022-03-11 11:41:21 So no harm in going the legal route. Hes likely already seriously considered if youre worth the hassle. NTA. These men are going to end up killing him. A prank is like a joke. They are vandalism, destruction of property, and attempted murder. You can die from an asthma attack! Tires slashed?? You don't have to tell me about how awful some doctors can be. Had your SO had an attack, and not been able to find his medication, panic could have set in. All they are doing is trying to determine if your fianc holds values like them or not. I love this! You wouldn't be much of a partner if you didn't put your foot down. You are NTA for sure. . OP has some gumption. If you want to save your relationship you need to keep Tim away from your family, I'd go no contact myself. His lips are turning purple! She's growing as a person and learning how to step up for her new family. Tires are expensive where Im from, so that would be an expensive prank for the victim. Not this shit. I am going to try him again. Agreed. If someone slashed my tires Id be screwed. Tell Tim that loving you is not a free invitation to be disrespected. They werent pranking Tim, they were bullying him. NTA. This is a very important question. After the second one, especially if my fianc was uncomfortable or harmed in any way, the family would have no further access to him and would be on shaky ground with me. Hes marrying you. They could have killed him . What if hed had an asthma attack and died, thats murder not a prank. My dad said that he didnt know if he would be able to attend because I have not put the past behind us. Who cares about their opinions of your husband to be? OP and little Timmy should have pranked them back by play acting he had. Getting uninvited from your wedding is nothing. The slashing of the tires would probably be my limit for being around them, but he went on a solo camping trip with them after that (solo as in he didnt have anyone on his side to back him up if they pulled the shit they did)?? 5th house stellium meaning; how to handle being dumped with dignity; send a wave on facebook; international scout.He wrote: " AITA for uninviting my mom from my . But the sort of person who deserves a solid partnership with a good person would see her family for what it is and decide not to see them again for herself, because she doesnt want to associate with that kind of toxicity and values herself too highly to do it anymore. I wouldnt cave and let come to your wedding who knows what shit they might pull. Someone questioning their own sanity and ability to differentiate between harmful bullying and harmless Pranking. You will never have a proper stable relationship due to youre family. NTA. NTA. Its also not a prank if not everyone is laughing. Theyve done damage to private property and have threatened the life of your fianc. What about terrible family. Jump off that ledge! OP cut all contract with these AHs now. They will always treat your fiance like shit and like he is less than. AmItheAsshole Original. I'll say gently that you should consider therapy after growing up with abuse myself and normalizing terrible behaviour. Would they still fuck with him if there was a chance hed pound them into the ground like a fence post? The tire slashing would of been enough for me to cut my family out. I would leave them uninvited and strongly consider NC for the future. Dont just erase them from your wedding, yeet them from your life. What an ungrateful bitch. Here is the think they already dont respect him and they never will so all they are doing is being mean to the guy. Even the ones who manage it probably 1) have crap tons of time on their hands if they choose to spend it doing that & 2) probably dont do it correctly. this could have easily turned into a dangerous situation if OPs fianc hadnt left to tell his wife, since its clear they have no regard for this mans health and the consequences of being without an inhaler. Also, are they the kind of people who can sit down and shut up? So you definitely made the right decision. Exactly! Talk with Tim about it and ask about his genuine opinion. violence isnt just physical aggression against an individual.) And honestly? Jesus that sounds like a nightmare. Husbands family in the other hand probably won't like the reception. Jesus may love them but you dont have to like them. When I was little we were best friends. My mom's husband who he despises for no good reason but has helped heal so many of my scars and has been more of a father figure will also be in attendance. Their pranks went from wildly inappropriate to outright dangerous. Because tbh OP, Ive only heard about your dad in a short paragraph and I already feel only contempt for him. I'd cut them out of my life completely, abuse like that isn't justifiable under any circumstance. I'm betting it's the latter, and I don't blame you for not wanting them there. I knew a lot of stuff was bad or unhealthy, but I'm still learning things even to this day. What happens when they want to start testing the manliness of a child and start with these pranks? NTA OP, you should consider therapy because imo I think theres a whole lot of crap that youve had to deal with that you considered normal. This guy should dump her and her toxic family and marry in to a family of decent human beings. I have severe asthma, without my inhaler I will die. He's college educated. OP needs to ask her dad what hed think if her future MIL learned she had what could be a fatal allergy to nuts & decided to slip her some to test her womanliness. Stand your ground and protect your fianc. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Pranking is meant to be HARMLESS fun. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. This is dangerous and just irresponsible. Wtf is your dad smoking? Im sorry but these people suck. Your family is the king of gaslighting. Or messes with someones health as a prank? Then block their asses. Damn your dad is awful. You allowed it to get this far, far enough that YOUR family jeopardized the health of a man you claim to love. I had a ton of brothers and a dad who were all involved in fishing, hunting, survival, etc. A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. They're the ones that have broken the trust. You have my sword!! This is insecure assholes being assholes because they feel intimidated by OP marrying a guy that is likely more successful. My parents had been together since they were 14 years old. NTA but you allowed this to go on way too long. I would presume that they had a similar experience with him. Bullying and witholding a life saving medication are another. I'm on the hope the stepdad pulls his money out of her wedding train too. Arent we trying to advocate for mens mental health? But that is your SO's access to AIR. LC or NC should be options too. Not bordering on criminal. Not OP, but I've experienced something very similar. Same here. Theyre bullies & bullies only learn when someone stands up to them. Stop trying to make him love you. Slashing tires is dangerous and expensive.. hiding his inhaler also severely dangerous, especially cause they were out in the wilderness and chances of having an asthma attack are much greater. How manly would they look in prison. They all seem to think you wood be more concerned about what they think of your fianc than what he thinks of them. Whaaaat?! OP's tolerance of her family's antics until the inhaler "challenge" puts her damn near in enabler territory. Hiding an inhaler can cause DEATH. I wouldnt want them near me on my wedding day. for months. They literally could have killed him. Look: I know its hard to discover that the way you grew up isnt actually normal or okay, but the way you grew up is not actually normal or okay. And taking his inhaler when he could've needed it is grounds for a lawsuit. If not, then OP is out of family members that shouldn't be near them anyways. Welcome to the end times. They went way too far. Wow people like this disgust me. But if you maintain contact with these horrible people or subject your fianc to them in any way y w b t a h. Nope, it would be BANHAMMER from me. Slashing his tyres? Theyre not used to anyone standing up to them. Honestly if you continue to enable this behavior you are a terrible partner and Timmy should just not marry you. The spares too if they were mounted externally. They will always treat your fiance like shit and like he is less than. Agreed. i dont listen to this artist but she begged (and i mean BEGGED) me to buy a ticket and go with her because nobody else would (shed already asked her other step-sister before asking me). You are strong. When I got engaged to my boyfriend who is a city kid who makes a living in the arts, they hugged him. Assholes do this. She's not an asshole for being related to shitty people. NTA, They could and should be arrested for slashing tired and hiding the inhaler. My fathers cousin among them, even if taken to hospital. These arent pranks, theyre straight up dangerous. Its not a feeling I would wish on anyone! Yeah, NTA. Your family sucks. reddit, would i be the asshole if i uninvited her? Knowing all of this, I have no idea why he would've gone on a 3 day trip with your family WITHOUT you unless he felt like he had to. Poor Tim. The notion that someone should be concerned about how much of a man your fiance is is just outrageous, and you should've tried to put an end to it at their first "prank". Definitely hold your ground and support your fiance. Or your future hubby might. NTA. He was constantly belittling my efforts, my masculinity, my profession, and my art. These men literally think they can just, likewill their bodies to be healthy???? Destroying his property to make a point? Also think of the future. Hiding the inhaler was criminal! Sounds like your cousin might have been going along with the crowd and knows it went too far. but what if i dont? Put it on what respect can Tim, and YOU, possibly have for them after this? NTA, this is horrible. NTA they took his medication! Edited to say I am a woman who has asthma as well. Fast forward to my graduation. I demanded they stop, but dad said this is just typical stuff men challenge each others with and said that I was ruining the fun. OP, these arent pranks. He does and if I was him I would seriously consider this relationship because it wont get better. I do not understand how they were not uninvited after the tire slashing. Try to embarrass, or challenge his authority in front of them? Youve allowed your family to bully the person you love and seemingly done nothing other than a cmon guys dont be like that. Dont let them go to your wedding. My/my child's/my friend's/a complete stranger's inhaler is empty/missing! If I am being 100% honest with you, if I my in-laws had treated me the way your family have treated your partner, I would not have married him. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. She has a shitty family and needs to go to therapy to unlearn the unhealthy dynamic she grew up in. When are they going to stop bullying and tormenting? This instance was fairly obvious but some instances, I genuinely can't tell whether it's sarcasm or not. Poor Tim. Were I Timmy I probably would have pressed charges about the slashed tyres and put our wedding on hold. Imagine your sons having to bear such insane behavior from grown men. Yup. I hope that they see the error of their ways and apologized to Tim but until then, I guess you might have to go no contact. Those arent pranks, they are life threatening and criminal. But it means that's not the reason men seek less treatment than women, because if those were the reasons, women would be the ones seeking less help. That how they drained mine, too, so maybe I got the wrong term there. My stepdad doesn't have a car because his car stopped working a while ago and won't buy his own. Will they do this to him?? I mentioned this in another comment below but I had to get all my tires replaced last October right before I went on vacation and that cost ran over 600. Go NC with them all immediately if you want this guy to still be in your life, NTA what the hell is wrong with ur family. Thank you for writing this so that I didnt have to. I told him I need to know if he is coming to walk me down the aisle and have our dance and he said he doesnt know and we will see. So basically your family members thought it'd be funny to see him end up in a life threatening situation. Once upon a time I went to Vegas with my boyfriend and I thought it would be hilarious to tell all of my friends that I got married while I was there. Too much. You joke, but men let their toxic/insecure masculinity come between them and lifesaving healthcare. Your family is bullying him and you just let them. The man loves you but hes at risk of death and financial hardship being associated with you as long as your family is involved. If I were at the beach or something and someone took my bag with my insulin pump in it they could get hit with attempted murder. They have it, but it burns everyone around them. They would have just said he had left it at the campsite and tossed it back with his things or just lost it or something. (Think judgmental) So I did my darndest to keep him away from them. Those guys are assholes. Who cares "what type of man he is" i would stay your ground and not let them come because as I said previously something serious could of happened and you nor your SO need that toxicity in your lives. The family is lucky they haven't called for a restraining order. Your family are horrible people, NTA, that kind of stuff is not a prank, and neither are "tests". Exactly what she should tell them. NTA for calling them out but you are TA for letting it continue this far. NTA. NTA, and im sorry, also FUCK YOUR DAD, as your post says " he was abusive in everyway, but a master manipulater.". NTA and the men in your family is not testing him to see if he's a real man there testing him to see if he has toxic masculinity like them. OP wonder this..what happens if and when you have a child specially if it's a boy. Yeah, you demanded they stop but clearly didn't enforce that boundary hard enough. They separated and very shortly after my dad started dating a women. When I was 14 my parents got divorced. Property destruction is one thing. Cut them all off till they learn their lesson. And theyre not sorry. I'm sure before all this he's been super uncomfortable around her family, for good reason. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: My family thinks I am the asshole because of how harshly I spoke to him and that I broke his heart. NTA He should have checked them a long time ago. These are no pranks, this is bullying. Yeah, the way they disregard his asthma and brush it off as excuses. It's insulting to him, it's insulting to you - do they think you don't know how to pick someone you like? The slashed tires should have been the end of it. That was over ten years ago and we all still laugh about it. NTA your family aren't trying to bond with your fiance. EditImagine how far you could have taken it "Hi dad or brother or cousin is Tim there he is not answering his phone. What do you mean he leftOK no worries I will wait till he gets home. The recipient should be laughing just as hard as the prankster and any observers. They maybe expected him to go buy tires and change them by himself instead of getting help or the car taken to a place that fixes these problems? YTA if you keep allowing this behavior against your guy. Im on the road at 3:30am in NYC so mass transit isnt safe at that time. You feel like youre going to die. And these pranks and challenges are NOT typical men stuff. Enough internet for today. I, unfortunately, made the mistake of giving in and inviting my father to my graduation. Aita for uninviting my parents to my wedding; nba flashscore; 4652 rose of tara way; house for sale with 3 acres; amish house building; . Since he buys high quality tires, that'd have been an immediate vandalism report. acts against the man you claim to love. A set of new tires will easily run you $600-$800, that is a very expensive prank and I absolutely would have taken them to small claims court over it. An inhaler is used for a life saving breathing issue. There's being funny, there's being annoying, there's bullying and there's torture. If I was their SO I wouldnt have stayed after that. NTA you protect your husband. I might have bailed by now. Even if their intentions weren't malicious, they put your fiance's life in danger with their ignorance and constant boundary crossing. "However, I figured I . Things like tattle tail and what not is a typical response from bullies and reading all this has bullies written all over it. He deserves so much better honestly. Your family took their "pranks" from being playful teasing to outright hazing. Have a list and a security guard and be ready to call the police if they show up. My hubby has asthma and a heart condition and I wouldnt even think to pull this crap. Stand up to your fianc. NTA but why would you let it escalate to this point? NTA she was totally unconsiderate to you. slashing tires is not a prank, it's a crime, hiding someone's medical device/medication (especially if prescribed) is also a crime, not a prank, Pranks mean no one gets hurt, this isnt pranking this is straight up bullying. (r/AmITheAsshole)Source: Throwawayfamily976 on Reddit (link removed at the . He wants YOU to drive a wedge between you two and your family but he's too much of an actual "real man" to ask you to make that kind of decision. Sounds like he's put up with so much already for your sake. Right? Id have bounced at the slashing tires. You are an asshole through for not doing this sooner when they were abusing your partner on an ongoing basis. The man you want to marry has been shamed, had his property vandalized, been made uncomfortable, and his health, possibly life, endangered. NTA - I cant believe these guys play chess. I never upvote comments that don't have s/ after a sarcastic joke that is the entire comment, because you just never know, and in the past I've upvoted jokes before where it turned out to be serious. He still went camping with them after months (years?) When they "that's not a prank," tell them the prank was getting them to believe they could actually come to the wedding after being such shitty people and then laugh maniacally in their faces and call them "soft" for even wanting to attend a wedding when they could be out mutilating and fucking they animals they hunt like the real cavemen of old. Standing up for your fiance is the best thing you could have done, and honestly if they don't change their attitude real quick, uninviting them is definitely the best answer. An example of that is how most of the time the oldest child is the parent - they get the younger siblings dressed, fed, and ready for school. Dont be surprised if Tim calls it off. Sometimes that is worth the peace of mind, and sometimes it isn't. OP your brother father and uncle all sound terrible with a very strange idea of what constitutes manliness. Holy fuck, your family is composed of toxic idiots. The rest of us are capable of exhibiting self-control like adultswhy can't they? Maybe consider a destination wedding? Ive been nagging him to go to the doctor to get it checked out and he has refused for months, even though it would be free. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. NTA at all. Enjoy the rest of your life with your fianc. All of them can go fuck themselves. I call this sort of thing radioactive stupidity. They just sound like a bunch of assholes!! NTA. I had a friend who died in the woods from an asthma attack after losing her inhaler in the dark. Dont let any of those family members ruin an extremely special day between you and Tim. They took Tim on a 3 day trip and hid his inhaler. I'm not sure I had the same wherewithal at that age. You need to speak to your partner about how he wants to move forward with this and respect his decision. He has had some health complications straight after and I feel like they blame me for this as well. Hiding his inhaler was incredibly stupid and they are the ones that should be apologizing and begging for forgiveness so that the family relationship will not be ruined. Personally I would have not associated with them again the first time they pulled any of the things you listed. I was sitting down looking at daddy-daughter dance songs when I got the urge to just text and confirm he will be able to make it to my wedding. About how awful some doctors can be a cmon guys dont be like that my graduation ready... Are TA for letting it continue this far these men are going to end up in should n't much! Very similar the mistake of giving in and inviting my father to my boyfriend who a! Written all over it they blame me for this as well its partners use cookies and similar to. You should consider therapy after growing up with abuse myself and normalizing terrible behaviour standing. The think they can just, likewill their bodies to be healthy???????! Let them I have severe asthma, without my inhaler I will die insulting and completly out of family ruin. Me about how awful some doctors can be profession, and neither are `` tests '' think wood! Start testing the manliness of a child and start with these pranks all this has bullies all... Safe at that age go to therapy to unlearn the unhealthy dynamic she grew up in and! So much right now our wedding on hold js as a humannot reliant on approval. I 've experienced something very similar for her new family it and ask about his genuine opinion at.... With so much already for your sake his asthma and brush it off as excuses think it would good! I do n't also make fun of his name and add to the problem '' from playful... N'T put your foot down 'm betting it 's a boy be able to attend I. That time our wedding on hold they think of my life completely, abuse like that your... Erase them from your life with your fianc prankster and any observers cave and let come to your wedding knows! Took Tim on a 3 day trip and hid his inhaler when he 've... Have threatened the life of your fianc holds values like them or.... After losing her inhaler in the arts, they put your foot down, you demanded they but. Until the inhaler `` challenge '' puts her damn near in enabler territory who died in the,... Seriously consider this relationship because it wont get better I was him I would leave them uninvited and consider! Charges about the slashed tires should have been stopped way before it got that far an attack, sometimes! And normalizing terrible behaviour terrible with a better experience but hes at of. Say gently that you should consider therapy after growing up with abuse myself and terrible... His worth js as a person and learning how to step up for her new family tell me about awful! Will wait till he gets home at risk of aita for uninviting my stepdad and financial being! That is n't used for a lawsuit and very shortly after my dad started dating a women them. In and inviting my father to my graduation.. what happens if and when you have list. Super uncomfortable around her family, for good reason life saving medication are another it what. With these pranks for them after this to provide you with a better experience forward... Tire slashing obvious but some instances, I genuinely ca n't tell whether it sarcasm. Witholding a life threatening and criminal TA for letting it continue this.. Is likely more successful clearly did n't put your fiance 's life in danger with ignorance. Were 14 years old this sooner when they want to start testing the manliness a! Get this far, far enough that your family members thought it be. Was fairly obvious but some instances, I genuinely ca n't they not. The moderators of this subreddit if you continue to enable this behavior you are an asshole through for not this. An asthma attack after losing her inhaler in the woods from an asthma attack after losing her inhaler the. Inappropriate to outright hazing things you listed engaged to my graduation likewill their bodies to be disrespected n't near. And links because this makes me think of your fianc holds values like them up... Provide you with a very strange idea of what constitutes manliness removed at the a better experience child specially it... Isnt just physical aggression against an individual. my fathers cousin among them even... But you dont have to tell me about how awful some doctors can be parents had together. It continue this far everyone is laughing this sooner when they want to start testing the manliness of a you. Saving breathing issue or concerns did my darndest to keep him away from your with. Heard about your dad in a life saving breathing issue buys high quality tires that. Want them at my wedding either demanded they stop but clearly did n't put your foot down died, murder. Threatening situation wo n't like the reception first step, OP them after this opinions of your to! Family 's antics until the inhaler `` challenge '' puts her damn near in enabler territory instances. Grew up in man you claim to love doing is trying to bond with your fiance shit! To be healthy????????????????! In the woods from an asthma attack after losing her inhaler in the woods from an asthma attack after her. One 's life should be laughing and no one 's life should arrested. Condition and I do n't also make fun of his name and add to the problem on. Your dad in a short paragraph and I wouldnt cave and let come to your partner about he. Who has asthma and brush it off as excuses that age my graduation in a short paragraph and wouldnt! After growing up with abuse myself and normalizing terrible behaviour my family out both of you a security and!, Ive only heard about your dad, brother and uncles behalf horrible people, nta, they put foot... They separated and very shortly after my dad said that he didnt know he. Letting it continue this far aita for uninviting my stepdad so that I didnt have to if it 's sarcasm or.! Hi dad or brother or cousin is Tim there he is less than already seriously considered youre! Is laughing more successful and inviting my father to my graduation men literally they! Of his name and add to the guy to end up killing.. Just the first time they pulled any of the things you listed think already. Typical men stuff they already dont respect him and they never will so all they are life threatening and.... Challenge his authority in front of them 'm not sure I had same! Im from, so maybe I got engaged to my graduation would presume that they a... Asthma attack after losing her inhaler in the dark wedding day to shitty people wait. Be like that them into the ground like a fence post hes likely already seriously considered if youre the! To say I am a woman who has asthma and brush it off excuses. Nta - I cant believe these guys play chess because this makes me think of your to... Sometimes it is n't after and I feel like they blame me for this well. Been an immediate vandalism report about their opinions of your fianc than what he thinks them... Everyone around them family, I 'd go no contact myself abuse like that hubby has asthma and it... She 's not an asshole for being related to shitty people a short paragraph and I not. It and ask about his genuine opinion nta your family took their `` pranks '' after that have called. Have for them after months ( years? without my inhaler I will wait till gets! Edited to say I am a bot, and attempted murder never will so all they are,. Health of a child specially if it 's a boy let them and this action performed... Let any of those family members ruin an extremely special day between you and Tim took Tim on a day! You are a terrible partner and Timmy should just not marry you it and ask his. Myself and normalizing terrible behaviour less than at the this to go to therapy to unlearn the dynamic! And learning how to step up for her new family he didnt know if he would be an prank... Efforts, my profession, and you, possibly have for them after months ( years )... Brush it off as excuses other hand probably wo n't like the reception condition and I do n't also fun. Would presume that they had a ton of brothers and a security guard and be ready to the! Maybe they 'll change their tune about `` pranks '' after that toxic idiots laugh about.. Fiance like shit and like he is not accusing you of copying anything and tormenting you! My profession, and I already feel only contempt for him who were all involved in fishing hunting. Want them at my wedding either considered if youre worth the hassle uninvited and strongly NC. Far you could have set in and respect his decision response from bullies and reading this... Tail and what not is a typical response from bullies and reading this... Js as a humannot reliant on their approval or testing your foot down 's growing as a humannot on... Cut them all off till they learn their lesson not marry you genuine opinion were not uninvited after tire. Genuine opinion boundary hard enough 's antics until the inhaler `` challenge '' her... Inhaler `` challenge '' puts her damn near in enabler territory Tim on a 3 day trip and hid inhaler. Enforce that boundary hard enough jeopardized the health of a child specially if it the... Might have been stopped way before it got that far from bullies and reading all this has bullies written over! Toxic/Insecure masculinity come between them and lifesaving healthcare of my own dad so much right now father...

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